Now that's scary. A pregnant witch in a wheelchair. Robbie put cobwebs over me to seal the deal. And I must admit that Robbie looked pretty scary for throwing his costume together last minute. I can't wait until next year when I won't have to worry about my cervix shortening over the sidewalk bumps in my wheelchair.... oh, the little things.
'
It is Friday and I am so tired. Kind of ridiculous since I get plenty of sleep and naps... but why shouldn't I nap? Sometimes I am just too hard on myself... even on bed rest. I want so badly to be productive and help out, so my way of being productive is online searches, sorting mail piles, folding clothes, planning dinners, etc. So when I "slack off" and watch too much tv, or nap, then I feel badly. I remember once when we lived in New York .... I totally busted myself beating myself up before I even started my day. I woke up in the morning, and thought of all of the things I had to do, and "should" do for work, or just personally... and I started berating myself for being behind, or not making enough time - even before my feet touched the floor!! How unfair. It's such a hard balance to be carefree and live life as we wish, while being responsible and accomplishing what we need to in life - jobs, chores, obligations. But we really need to be good to ourselves... to take time out for us. Life can be so hard, and we've only got one. We owe it to ourselves to allow for some pleasure on this journey...
It has been so long since I have held Scarlet... about 4 months...since I picked her up off of the floor and spun her around. I know she's 3 but she's still my baby and I cannot wait to pick her up and dance with her around the living room. Scarlet keeps asking me questions if I can do this or that when the baby comes out. I can't wait to be the mommy that can really play with her, and run with her, and sit on one of her chairs without breaking it. (it was a close call, anyway.)
"Is life not a hundred times too short for us to stifle ourselves."
Friedrich Nietzsche
