I looked through Scarlet's baby pictures last night...and I can't wait to see Robbie become a dad again. He is the best - amazing and patient, SO KIND, and good. Scarlet is head over heels for him, and I know every reason why...thank you for carrying the load, my sweetheart. Thank you for everything you do, for all that you simply are. You are my constant companion, my best friend, my soul mate, and my rock.
I had a girl dream last night. It was crazy. Robbie and I were in some deserted end of a hospital all night by ourselves. Somehow I was able to check myself and I was dilated 7.5 cm. Robbie left the room to find someone, and the baby just came out!!! I saw a hand and an arm and I pulled and the baby came out!!! We called 911 and tried to get help but it took so long and I was so scared the baby would not make it … but she did. A girl. And we took her to meet my family… looking like a one year old with long hair – a Scarlet look a like, and my brother kept calling her the wrong name on purpose. Typical.
Truthfully, I have no real feelings one way or the other about the gender of this baby...I'm so glad we didn't find out. It is so exciting! My doctor appt went great yesterday. Not to toot my own uterus, but my Dr. kept saying how pleased she was with everything. She said she's not worried about me making it anymore... to 36 weeks (she did not take me off "bed rest,") but now she is just thinking about the delivery. I told her how I feel so lucky... to be a woman, and to be able to have this amazing experience. Sure I could complain about a lot of things that go along with pregnancy and all the surgeries, drugs, bed rest, and uterine balloon!! But I wouldn't trade it for anything... It's an honor to be able to carry a child in your womb. How utterly amazing.
Oprah's show yesterday was "do you believe in miracles?" about "John of God" - a spiritual and physical healer in Brazil. Here's the link if you want to check it out...
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Do-You-Believe-in-Miracles_1/1
I'm so intrigued by all that stuff, but I'm not sure what I think of John of God. But - my quote below is from a psychiatrist that went to go see John of God, as a skeptic, and says he still doesn't know what to believe. The one thing he says he has taken away from his experience is that nothing is as it appears to be. I thought this quote of his was very powerful...
"Perhaps the real heart within us is not just a pump. Perhaps the real heart within us is about love and faith. Perhaps the physical body is not who we really are. Perhaps we are these invisible souls walking around, and the body is just an instrument or metaphor for something we are trying to learn."
Dr. Rediger
