I am 32 weeks pregnant!! I am loving the baby turning and kicking about in me... I am really relishing this time... this amazing opportunity to carry a baby. My cervix was still closed at my appt yesterday and everything is great. She didn't give me a cervix measurement, but it was good enough not to comment. My doctor thinks the baby is head down which I am really happy about...it makes sense that when I feel hiccups (about 4 times a day) they are really low.
I asked her again to walk me through what happens if I hemorrhage during labor... I am not totally freaking out about it, but I want to be prepared, not surprised, if it does happen.
*** breaking news - "3 Little Birds" by Bob Marley has just come on the Current (radio station.) I will take this as positive energy coming to me as I am writing about the possibility of a postpartum hemorrhage! .... please see "3 Little Birds" previous post for reference!***
So, the plan is that after I birth a chubby little baby, and the placenta too, I will get a few drugs for "prevention and control of postpartum hemorrhage." If this does not control bleeding, I will go to surgery, where I am put under. She will then put dissolvable sutures in my uterus to hold it together. If this does not control the bleeding, I will have a hysterectomy. I asked my dr. to predict future and tell me what she thinks will happen... but obviously she could not. She said that we have been so careful, that a lot of times at the end of a careful road she will be so surprised at how well it all turned out, but with my history of Asherman's, and my "sticky" uterus, we just don't know what will happen. As mentioned before, my dr. has never had to do a hysterectomy to control bleeding and she specifically told me not to ruin her record!
Again, I have to say I am obviously nervous about all that could go wrong, but I have a good feeling about the delivery, probably because I have been so lucky with my incompetent cervix. Only time will tell, and Robbie and I reminded ourselves yesterday that after the Asherman's diagnosis that we said "just one more." So I am praying that if I wake up without a uterus, that I will not spiral down into a depression, but rejoice at the baby I was able to have...who am I kidding, I am going to be crushed.
I have just read on my Asherman's board about a woman who was told by 2 different doctors to find a surrogate, or adopt. She had multiple surgeries since 2007. This summer she was given a 10% chance that she could conceive and now she finds herself 14 weeks pregnant!!! Miracles can happen.......
"Still, what I want in my life is to be willing to be dazzled---to cast aside the weight of facts and maybe even to float a little above this difficult world. "
— Mary Oliver
