Today is absolutely gorgeous. 70-75 degrees, sunny, with just the right amount of breeze to give the falling leaves a little flight. After my appointment today, I drove around the lake with the windows down, listening to Dean Martin singing "Ain't that a Kick in the Head" playing on the radio. It was my version of walking around the lake. It was exhilarating. The sun, the leaves, the breeze, the music... it was spectacular. But the best part was thinking about our little 2 lb baby and it's big head.
My cervix was 3.4 cm today which is great! Yes, it's lower than the last couple of weeks, but my doctor is still saying it's excellent, and at this point my cervix is going to start shortening anyway. At 26 wks the baby is measuring 2 lbs and the head is measuring 28 wks. I think it runs in the family... Scarlet was known to have a decent sized head when she was a baby. In fact our friend Mike called her Barry Bonds once. Cutest Barry Bonds I've ever seen. Anyway, it's all good news and the larger melon is perfectly fine... we just thought it was funny.
We had such a fun weekend with my mom, sister, and nieces visiting. We also got to see my sister-in-law and nephews which is always a fun time. I love having a big family, and hanging out with my siblings and their kids... it's so cool to see them grow into their own selves. Spending time with my family always reminds me where I have come from...
There is a song by Iron & Wine called "The Trapeze Singer." The lyrics throughout the song are "please remember me..." through various times and circumstances in his life. I often think back to the time before I found out I had Asherman's Syndrome...especially back to the months of trying for a 2nd baby not knowing it was all for nothing. Not understanding that it would all turn into such a big deal for us.
During the almost 2 years of trying, researching, surgeries, miscarriage, etc., I thought of this song and my lyrics "Please remember me... when I was unaffected." I wanted to go back to a time when I wasn't totally consumed with conceiving a second child...back to a time when not everything revolved around the next step, surgery, hormone treatment, uterine balloon!, waiting period...until we could try again. Now that I am pregnant and so close to our dream, I definitely feel some release from being so consumed... but I am not the same, of course. We are not the same. And why would we be? This is the progression of our lives... change is constant, and I have to accept the Kathy that I am now. I have learned so much from the trials and heartache we have endured, and have been blessed with so much joy along the way too...
“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
So it's been a week...Where's the update?
ReplyDeleteDid Robbie show you the Dad's Life video? Here's a link. Good description of exactly how our lives have changed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dIO3xmE0_8
I remember when I was 18 and driving in the car with Robbie. I don't recall where we were going, just enjoying the new found freedom of getting out of the house ourselves, taking a ride.
We had the radio on and John (Cougar?) Mellencamp's "Jack and Diane" came on and as usual, I was singing along. The song got to the part where he sings, "Hold onto 16 as long as you can, changes come around real soon, make us women and men."
I was newly a college student and had accepted the new chapter in my life as part of the progression. I told Robbie how true it was that he should hold onto 16 because everything is fleeting and shortly he would be out of high school and everything would change.
When I watched the youtube video I had to laugh at how everything continues to change. Sometimes I feel that my life doesn't even belong to me. Thank God I have the outdoors to reconnect when necessary. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.