the beauty of silent whisperings

The first time I had surgery I was really scared...of going under...that I was never going to wake up. The second time I was a bit nervous too. But after that I practically looked forward to the deep sleep of anesthesia! I remember being in Madison with my mom last September...yawning, exhausted, and so looking forward to an induced slumber. This past March when I had the surgery that I didn't actually need (that's another story), my anesthesiologist gave me the nicest little cocktail into my IV before surgery while I was waiting. He said "I'd want a little cocktail if I was going into surgery too..." As I think about all of this, I'm hoping that my experiences with surgery and in the hospital will help my comfort level as I face (cue dramatic organ music) "the C section."

None of my surgeries have been this major, and I admit I'm not crazy about being sliced into and dug around in...and dealing with the recovery time after all of this bed rest... BUT I have kind of given into it. What can I do? (besides ask for a "big cocktail" in my IV?) If the baby needs to be breech in me, then that's just what it needs to do... and in a few months, and certainly years, it's not going to make any difference. I know it's very common, and maybe I'll actually prefer it to the (ring of fire) experience that I had with Scarlet. It's out of my control, so I may as well let it go and just enjoy these last few weeks. Bed rest is coming to a close... this Thursday. YES - THIS THURSDAY! I am going to shop until the baby comes out foot first!

Robbie put the crib up this weekend, and did a few loads of adorably tiny baby laundry essentials. Scarlet has been occupying herself by hanging out in the crib coloring...I asked Robbie why we didn't put that thing up months ago - she is so content playing in there!! She is perfecting her wolf and flower drawings...and yes, sometimes they are in the same picture. Last night we had a fire and hung out by the tree. Scarlet is asking more questions about the baby and paying my belly more attention. She is going to be the best big sister... I can't wait to witness it all. Now each morning I wake up and have my coffee by the tree... in the dark, in the peace...in the silent whisperings of a new life.

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.”

Norman Vincent Peale